Thursday, October 27, 2005
me, myself, and i
I have been asked by same question with my friends lately: "musta na ka, Jo?" and i see myself telling them same answer: "i am ok, but not great." Even if how cliche it may sound, but, that's definitely the best description i could give on how i am feeling the past days. i think some of my friends are just worried since they haven't heard me whining and complaining about my "fate" in life. And maybe, i am beginning to grow. I am beginning to move on. I am beginning to accept my "fate".
The past weeks are uneventful for me. I feel like a robot, doing routinary things everyday, and accomplishishing the task that has been programmed in my system. And you see, I begin to get used to it. I am like a living dead. Lifeless.
But, just the other day, on my way home, i saw these christmas lights along the road and an inch of pain suddenly rushed inside me.. it was actually a nostalgic feeling mixed with disappointments, fear, and loneliness. And all the "why"s in my life came back like a deafening thunder, shouting inside my ear over and over again. As i recalled my childhood memories, I supposed to have a feeling of excitement and anticipation over Christmas. But, things are so different now. Christmas and New Year will never be the same again for me.
They said that pain is a reality in life and a reminder on how human , how vulnerable and how much in need we are of others.
I guess, I am still human after all.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Keys to my Heart| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Weight TheoryI always start my day with a cup of coffee. I just can't resist the aroma of the coffee everytime I passed by the pantry. That's why, the pantry is my best place in the office since it's the second place where I spend my first few minutes, after dropping my bag on my table. I'm sure, some of my friends would disagree with my reasons.. I can hear them saying, "it's not the coffee jo, it's the food". Well, I am not that matakaw as some might imagine it, it's just that they were amazed on how fast i gained weight. So, i have these debatable theories that would explain this phenomenon:
1. i am happy.
voice_inside_my_head: who are you kidding joan?? you can't just equate weight to happiness! there are lots of overweight out there who even suffer from depression! Ok, so, unacceptable theory.
2. nature of the job
definitely, this kind of job that i am into now just requires me to sit whole day! my friend keeps on telling me to enrol to the gym.. but.. my work sked just don't allow me to do so..or, am just too lazy to go to the gym??
3. it's in the genes
it really is. i came from a family of "healthy people". so, what can i do? it just runs in the blood!
4. or, my friends are simply right. i eat a lot lately.
hmm... who could say NO to carbonara, pizza, pork belly, crispy pata of dessert factory, lamb biryani of persian palate..... and the list goes on....
oh well... whatever might be the reason, one thing can only be true... that i gained N pounds for the past months. haay...
© Scribbled Thought. All rights reserved world wide.
About This Blog
About Me
What I am Up To
Advertisements
Recent Entries
Archives
Links
Advertisements
Blogmates
Credits